Hey, recently i couldnt be bothered these past couple of days.. i actually dont know why..its kinda bad..im so passionate about this as well.
But anyways, this week has been kinda MERGH..thats the only way to describe it. I have had many indepth conversations, my confidence has been knocked down, i have loved and i have missed.
This may not make sense to you but it makes sense to me lol. I have realsed many things. my friends have lead to realise that what i do should make me happy, it shouldn't make other people happy; and thats true. If it makes me happy why should i bother about you? But the problem with me is, i do things that please people, i.e. to make them laugh, to make them smile and to satisfy them..hense why i want to be a psychologist. The one thing is that i dont want to regret anything but looking back on what i have done in the past makes me feel..STUPID?
I Hope all this is making sense..?
I doubt it is lol.
Another thing is HIM, yes HIM. Me and him used to "see" each other and we used to talk and i really liked/like him. But i just dont want me talking and me liking him again to lead to me geting my heart broken, AGAIN..#PARTOMYLIFE. I just dont want to get hurt.. #YahZimme? But it all leads back to the thing of me being a people pleaser or a ME PLEASER..if that makes sense..But the funny thing is, is that im only a people pleaser when it comes to guys..STRANGE HUH..Well yeah it is strange becuase it all leads back to us women living in a patriarchal society and men opressing us and us women just being put on this earth to please them..dnhjsdkhjdkf ildksflk;dsjflk sdjfklsdj ....
*SORRY I WENT OFF ON A TANGENT*
I should'nt be feeling that i have to please guys and make them happy, i should be making myself happy..But this all leads to paragraph 2, YA GEH ME...
I just want to be happy, sucessfull and fabulous, thats all i want..Is that too much to ask.?
Well i have been brambling on about all this EMOSH tings, lets get onto the happy stuff
Oh i saw the pictures from DAGRINS burial, it was so sad. It made me realise that death is so unexpected, life can be here one minute and gone the next. This gives me the motivation to live my life to the fullest; no regrets..So the last 3 paragraphs didnt make sense then ARGHHIFODSFULOSB FJKLS ARGH #FAK OFF
But on the plus side, today was a good day. I bought a pretty necklace
£2...BARGAIN..i only bought it because i needed a necklace that was long, but at the same time had a cooky pendant, an i found one. The glass in the tummy of the owl is a magnifying glass...cool huh..
And i have just ordered my glasses chain from ASOS..
Its so...Uber Cool.
& Because i am black and cheap, i did the super saver deleivery were it would come 6 days later, it doesnt cost me a penny.. :). Everybody is smiling, especially me lol..
The other day i was walking to the pist box down the road and i wore trainers, yes trainers..ok they may not be considered as trainers but i think they are..
& i did the trip while yamming down a carrot..
Well..im going to do somemore online shopping..
Retail therapy is always the best..
Sweetfashionist
♥
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